


Ketchup

by saltycosmos



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Depressed Keith, Depression, Dropout Keith, Eventual Smut, Gay Keith, Hunk and Pidge live with Lance in an apartment, Keith rides a motorcycle, Keith x Lance - Freeform, Lance smells like vanilla, Lance works for McDonald's, Lance x Keith, M/M, McDonald's, On Hiatus, Pidge Knows (tm), Pidge knows what Lance does before bed every night, Rating May Change, Shiro is their neighbor, Suicide attempt(s?), They/Them for Pidge, bi lance, klance, motorcycle accident, nonbinary pidge
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-01
Updated: 2017-07-05
Packaged: 2018-09-27 17:32:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10036361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saltycosmos/pseuds/saltycosmos
Summary: ON HIATUSOne boring night on the job at McDonald's, Lance gets sent out to change the drive thru sign. A suicidal motorcyclist crashes into him, and so results the beginning of the worst friendship ever, which may or may not conceal love on both sides.akaLance gets hit by a motorcycle and somehow survives, Keith has regrets about everything, Pidge is overenthusiastic about Lance's new friend moving in, Hunk is all knowing, and Shiro has a secret.And then there's the fact that Keith basically saved Lance's life by mouth to mouth but Lance is too flustered to admit he did anything but chest compressions.(updated sometimes lmao rip me)





	1. spongebob replaces barbie

**Author's Note:**

> i mean wow first fanfic in a while amiright folks
> 
> instagram- oceaneyedboy  
> email- saltedgraves@gmail.com

What the job entailed was pretty simple: go out to the drive thru sign and change the panel for the new kids meal. It was easy, just unlock the sign and take out the old, in with the new, etc. Lance had done it before, he knew how, and was glad to get out of the stuffy kitchen, no matter how cold and wet it was outside.  
As he stepped out of the back door, a blast of cold air greeted him, along with many droplets of icy water. He made his way towards the sign, covering his face with the panel advertising spongebob toys. Fumbling with the keys, he unlocked the covering and pulled it open. His fingers hurt, but it was better than standing at a counter for hours.  
He slid out the barbie panel, and was about to push in the spongebob one when something large, bright, and loud hit him from behind and he blacked out. 

-

It wasn’t loud, just a little thud. The parking lot was empty, save for the worker’s vehicles so nobody realized it had happened.  
It being the motorcycle colliding with an unaware Lance.  
When the driver realized his attempt had not worked, and there was a good chance he had killed the McDonald’s worker instead, he groaned and tried to sit up from his place on the wet concrete.  
When he did, he looked over at the person beside him and realized he wasn’t breathing.  
His phone was in his apartment, along with the letters, so he couldn’t call anyone for help.  
He dragged himself to Lance, knocked out on the ground with a cut on his forehead, and checked his pulse. Still alive.  
Taking a deep breath, he put his mouth over Lance’s and attempted CPR, which he remembered miraculously from middle school health.  
It took three breaths, but suddenly Lance sputtered, coughed, and opened his eyes, pushing the driver off of him frantically.  
“What-who-what the fuck happened?!” Lance squeaked. “Who are you? Where’s every-”  
The driver looked at him.  
Lance looked at the driver. “Did you just hit me with…” he looked around, “a motorcycle?”  
The driver nodded.  
“Are you trying to kill someone? Specifically, me?”  
The driver sighed quietly. “Yes, but not you.”  
Lance sat up. “You… you’re trying to kill someone?”  
“Me.” said the driver, awkwardly scratching his arm.  
Lance was quiet for a second. “Are you hurt?”  
“I don’t think so. Are you okay, dude?”  
“Lance.”  
The driver blinked.  
“The name’s Lance.”  
“Keith. Sorry I ruined your night.”  
Lance shrugged. “Already was ruined, working overtime sucks,” he laughed awkwardly.  
“Can you get up?”  
“I-” Lance tried, before collapsing again. “No.”  
“Oh god, I hurt you…”  
Lance fell silent as Keith began to cry, tears mixing with rain. “I can call my friend… if you want… you could stay with us…” he said softly, reaching into his pocket for his phone. “I’ll just tell my boss there was an emergency.”  
Keith kept sobbing but nodded weakly.  
Lance flipped open his phone, dialing a number.  
It rang once, twice, and then- “Lance?”  
“Hey Hunk, there’s been a slight accident? Could you, uh, send Pidge to the McDonald’s drivethru? In the car?”  
“Accident? Okay man, but… your boss…”  
“She can deal with it. It’s kinda urgent though, please hurry.” He snapped his phone closed, and looked back at Keith, who was staring at him. “What?”  
“You have a flip phone.”  
“Yes?”  
“It’s 2017 and you have a flip phone.”  
Lance groaned. “You… forget it. My friend Pidge will be here soon. They’re nice.”  
It was silent for a bit, except for the rain and an occasional hiccup from Keith.  
A car pulled in next to them and stopped, brakes screeching.  
“LANCE!” A person ran out of the car, hurtling towards the two. “Are you okay?”  
“This is Pidge. They overreact.”  
Pidge pulled him up, straining. “And who’s this?”  
Lance wobbled towards the car. “That’s Keith. He hit me with his motorcycle.”  
Keith stood up shakily.  
“You WHAT?”  
“It’s a long story. Drive us home.” Lance gestured to the open door. “Get in, Keith. You can sit in the back with me, I guess.”  
Keith walked over slowly and slid in. Lance got in next to him and Pidge slammed the door, hopping into the driver’s seat.  
“Spill,” they said, turning the key.  
“Keith?” Lance asked nervously.  
Keith looked at them, shaking. “Um…”  
“Go ahead, Keith, it’s okay.” Pidge said.  
“I was trying to kill myself and I accidentally hit Lance with the motorcycle and I knocked him out and freaked out and he wasn’t breathing so I thought I killed him but I gave him CPR and he’s okay now…” Keith burst into tears.  
Lance patted his shoulder awkwardly.  
“Let’s… get him home?” Pidge asked.  
“Yeah…” Lance said, sighing.


	2. $10 for diarrhea, $20 for the stomach flu

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance has an unfortunate pain in his rear, Pidge makes Keith sleep on his couch, and Hunk charges money for disease.  
> Also, Lance thinks Keith giving him mouth to mouth is a kiss.  
> Keith realizes things.  
> Old bananas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow look at me write i'm so cool
> 
> nah jk i mostly just eat food and watch youtube or netflix all day
> 
> i had to go to school today so this was written on a class laptop and i laugh a bit thinking of writing about lance's sex habits at school so :)
> 
> instagram: oceaneyedboy  
> tumblr: oceaneyedboy

Keith’s tears eventually gave way to snores as Pidge drove towards the apartment building.   
Lance groaned. “My ass hurts.”  
“Well,” Pidge said, “I’m not going to look at it. We can go to the hospital in the morning, but there is no fucking way I’m going anywhere else tonight. I am wearing my sweatpants, if you haven’t noticed. And,” they gestured to the sleeping Keith, “He might like some company.”  
“He might, but we should probably drop him off at the hospital’s psych ward if we go tomorrow. He tried to kill himself. That’s not normal.”  
Pidge glared at him as they turned the car into the lot. “We are keeping him, I’ve heard of those places and they are not good. He seems nice, he’ll be sleeping in your room on your couch tonight.”  
“Wait, what?” Lance blinked, stunned. “He’s not sleeping in my room, what the fuck?!”  
Pidge grunted. 

The car stopped, and Lance sighed. “What happens if he screams in his sleep?”  
Pidge hopped out and opened Lance’s door. “What happens if he does weird boy things every night when he thinks I’m asleep?” They smirked and pulled him out.  
“I can walk, thank you,” Lance said, enraged and blushing. He stalked off towards the entrance, limping slightly.  
Pidge crawled into the car and poked Keith. “Hey, bike dude.”  
“Hrk,”  
“Listen, you gotta get up.”  
Keith opened his eyes. “Huh? Oh. It’s you.”  
Pidge smiled, grabbing his hand. “Let’s go inside, okay? I can get a bed set up for you.”  
“Okay…” he yawned. “Where’s… Lance?”  
“I made a joke about his sex life and he left. He’s probably in his room sulking,” they grinned,   
“Oh,” said Keith.  
Pidge dragged him out of the car, wrapping an arm around him as they led him into the building.

When they reached apartment A20, the door was open and Lance was yelling at someone. “It’s not my fault! I didn’t think of that, Hunk!”  
Pidge and Keith stepped inside, and things quieted as the four looked at each other.   
“As I was saying,” Hunk continued, “the bike is blocking the drive thru and your boss is probably mad at you.” He paused. “$10 will get me there to move it and explain to your boss that you had diarrhea on the job.”  
“What!?”  
“$20 will get you a stomach illness instead.”  
Lance grumbled and pulled $20 out of his pocket. “Go do it,” he spat.  
Hunk smiled and high fived Pidge as he went out the door, closing it behind him.  
Lance collapsed on the couch. “My ass really hurts.”  
“I don’t think Keith needs to know that. Now show him to your room.”  
Lance looked at Pidge, then Keith, then began to laugh.  
“Oh my god, Keith has-” he snorted. “A mullet! Hah!”  
“Get your shit together, and go to your fucking room.”   
“Stop being a mom, Pidge,” Lance sighed, getting up and grabbing Keith’s hand like a second grader trying to show their older sibling something. He dragged Keith into his bedroom, which was occupied by a large desk, bunk bed with a heap of clothes in the top bunk, and a couch. And lots of soda bottles on the floor, a pizza box, and numerous bags from McDonald’s.  
“You get the couch,” Lance said dejectedly, flopping onto the lower bunk.  
“Are you okay?” Keith said awkwardly, breaking his silence. He limped over to the couch and sat down among the underwear.  
Lance covered his face with a pillow and made a sort of groan noise. “I wasted $20 on saving your bike, and you have a mullet, and my butt hurts. Plus I probably have bruises all over my face and she’ll never like me if I skip work.”  
Keith bit his lip and smiled softly. “Well, I’ll talk to you. You basically saved my life. Which may be a good thing?”  
“Thanks,” said Lance. He threw the pillow at Keith. “Have a pillow.”  
“Is that-”  
“Drool. Probably?” Lance said, pulling another pillow towards himself.  
Keith grimaced. “I’m just gonna... change, I guess.” He got up slowly and unzipped his jacket.   
“No stripping in my room!” Lance shrieked. “Keep it PG!”  
“Dude…”  
“I don’t want to see your…” he sank his voice to a whisper, “man tits.”  
“What?” Keith pulled off his jacket and draped it on the chair before tugging his shirt off.  
Lance covered his eyes.  
“You must have a lot of trouble in swimming pools?” Keith laughed before kicking off his shoes and pulling a questionable-smelling blanket over him on the couch.  
“I do not!” Lance shrieked. “Are you decent?”  
Keith looked down, and laughed. “Well, there’s a blanket covering me, so… and I’m wearing pants.”  
Lance rolled over and propped himself up on one arm, looking at Keith. “So tell me, how’d ya save me from certain death, mullet knight?”  
“What?”  
Lance blinked. “I almost died. Explain yourself.”  
“Well, um. I was aiming to crash into the board but I saw you and braked but slid. So I hit you at medium power. I guess I knocked you out.”  
Lance nodded. “Go on…”  
“I felt like a monster and thought I killed you,” Keith sighed. “But I checked your pulse, and though you weren’t breathing your heart was beating, so I tried CPR and it worked?”  
“What’s CPR?” Lance asked.  
“You learn about that in like, elementary school… But it’s chest pumps and rescue breaths. You know what that is, right?”  
“You’re making me feel stupid,” said Lance, “But no.”  
“Oh my god. Well, chest compressions are basically pushing the chest up and down? And rescue breaths, if that’s what they’re called, it’s glorified, ahem, making out with air.”  
Lance sputtered. “I’m alive because what now?”  
Keith blinked. “Mouth to mouth.”  
“So you kissed me?” Lance squealed in disgust.  
Keith breathed deeply. “No, I did not kiss you.” He paused. “I saved your life by pumping air into your lungs.”  
“I’ve never been kissed… you monster! You took my lip virginity!”  
Keith groaned.   
“My first kiss was a strange man, oh whoa. I don’t even know a thing about you. Romantic.”  
“It was not a kiss, and I’m not going to argue,” Keith sighed. “And for your information, my name is Keith Kogane, I’m 20, and I’m sleeping on your couch.”  
Lance blinked. ‘You’re 20, wow, you look old though.”  
“I’m not old.”  
“I’m 20 too, so…” Lance said. “First kiss, finally.”  
“Dude, Lance, that wasn’t a-”  
“Shut up and go to sleep.” Lance snapped, rolling over and fake snoring.

Keith snuggled into the blanket, which smelled of vanilla and old spice mixed with old food, possibly bananas. It was nice of these people to rescue him… but what was the cost? For how long? He couldn’t go back to his apartment, it was bare and he was being kicked out tomorrow. If he had died… well…  
And then there was the Lance thing. Out of all the people in the world to hit with your motorcycle by accident, Lance sure was… interesting. He was slightly glad that he lived, just because if he hadn’t… Lance would probably be gone too. And Pidge was nice, and what he saw of the other one… Hunk?  
Lance. Lance was good, except for the odd remarks he made, like the kissing thing. He felt bad, sort of. If Lance counted that as a kiss, he must be really desperate. He had said it was his first- but it wasn’t a kiss. Poor guy, Keith thought, he was too cute not to be kissed.  
Wait, what?  
Keith realized what he just thought, and buried his face in his pillow. Lance was cute, in a dorky sort of way. He was kinda an asshole but… ugh.  
Jesus Christ, he sort-of-not-really-though liked the guy who he hit with his motorcycle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> um, keith is gay
> 
> lance is half gay but the gay bit of him is very very gay
> 
> instagram: oceaneyedboy  
> tumblr: oceaneyedboy


	3. pidge wants dude time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith has a panic attack, Pidge is angry, and Lance tries his damn best to be a Good Dude.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh my god i uploaded, it's been like four months,,,, sorry yall,,,, i failed you,,,,
> 
> word count is 1187 (for this chapter ;0)

It was two AM, and Keith was sobbing his eyes out. There was snot everywhere on the blanket, pillow, and unidentifiable piece of fabric, possibly clothing, that he was blowing his nose into. 

It was loud. Very loud.

There was an irritated knock at the door, and then Pidge, wearing an oversized t-shirt, burst in. 

Keith looked up.

Pidge looked at him, then Lance, who was sleeping, then back at him. “Do you… need anything?”

He shrugged, snot running down his chin.

“I’m going to wake up Lance, he’s… he can probably help more than I can,” they said softly.

“‘Kay,” he mumbled.

Pidge walked over to Lance’s bed, and punched his shoulder. Hard.

Lance squealed. “Pidge-”

“Your friend needs help, Lance, please just…” Pidge trailed off. “I just think Keith could do with some dude time.”

“Dude time?”

Pidge stalked towards the door. “Yes, you numbskull! Dude time. Goodbye.” They slammed the door behind them, making the two jolt.

Keith sighed. 

“Are you… all right?” Lance squinted into the dark, trying to make out the other’s expression. When he was met with no reply, he sat up. “Keith…”

“I’m here,” Keith said softly.

Lance was silent for a moment. “If you want to have my bed… you can. You deserve it.”

Keith mumbled something before bursting out into another fit of tears.

Lance took a deep breath and got up, sitting next to Keith on the couch. “If you want to talk, I’m here…”

Keith sniffed loudly, pulling Lance into a hug. 

Lance was surprised, but let Keith bury his face into his shoulder. He put an arm around him, trying to ignore the feel of Keith’s bare skin. 

They stayed like that for a while, and eventually Keith stopped sobbing and began to breathe heavily. Lance held him tighter, rocking the pair back and forth.

“Lance…” Keith mumbled against his chest, “I’m really sorry. I’m sorry you were dragged into this. I wish I could just... run away from my problems, I guess. I wish you weren’t part of this. You have a good life, you have people who love you…” He trailed off.

Lance looked down, at the lump of messy dark hair and pale skin nestled against him. “I- Keith… I…”

Keith looked up, tickling Lance’s chin with his hair. 

“...I really don’t know what to say? I’m not good at this sort of stuff...” Lance whispered. “Just… if you need someone to love you, we’re here. We’re not much, but… we get by.”

“Thank you…” 

The heater kicked in, and a soft whirring filled the room. Keith pulled away from Lance, sitting up and stretching. “I… don’t think I’m going to be able to sleep.”

Lance shrugged. “It’s okay. Everyone has those nights.” He paused. “I’d stay up with you, if you, uh, want that.”

Keith swung his legs over the side of the couch, toes touching the floor that was covered in a sticky substance that could have been anything. Keith hoped it was soda. He turned away from the other, staring at a two-year-old calendar half falling off the wall. “If it doesn’t bother you… I guess…”

Lance tentatively placed a hand on Keith’s shoulder. “It really doesn’t bother me, and I don’t want to see you- or anyone- suffer.” He sighed. “I know what it’s like to be lonely, and I don’t want to see you go through that bullshit. I’m here for you.”

Keith looked back at Lance just enough to catch his eyes, and smiled softly.

Lance exhaled. “We could probably, uh, watch a movie or somethin… or I could tell you about my life. It’s pretty boring, but… I guess there are some good moments…”

“Whichever one you’d like,” Keith said quietly. “I’m okay with both, so it’s up to you.”

“Well, I’d have to get the remote from the living room, so it would be easier if we just talked. But, y’know, if you want to watch a movie, just tell me,” Lance said, yawning.

Keith scooted back on the couch, leaning against the backrest (which was covered with underwear, probably used, but he really didn’t give a fuck) and closing his eyes. “Tell me about your life.”

“Well, I’m a college student…” Lance began, “and, uh, I work at McDonald’s, if you couldn’t tell already,” he laughed, “I live with my two friends, who you’ve met: Pidge is the short angry one with the glasses, and Hunk is the tall one who charged me for disease. We have a neighbor who is over here so much it feels like he lives here, except he doesn’t pay rent and doesn’t have his own room. That’s Shiro. Uh, what else? Oh, yeah. Hunk works part-time at this buffet, it’s sort of the all-you-can-eat type. He’s one of the main chefs. He’s a really good cook. I can’t even make oatmeal, last time I tried the microwave caught on fire… we still need to buy a new one, the burn marks are... unappealing.”

Keith snorted.

“Pidge runs some sort of website from their room- well, it’s not a room, it’s an office, this is a two bedroom apartment- where people play those weird games where you have a fantasy guy and roll dice and shit. But online. I don’t know, you should ask them.” He smiled. “They’re really good with computers, that’s basically where our food money comes from. They graduated high school two years early, so they’re really smart and stuff. I don’t understand a thing they do.”

Keith snorted louder barely containing his laughter.

“Oh! And then at work, we have this really funny manager. His name is Coran. I don’t know exactly what he does and how he keeps his job, but he tells us jokes and plays pranks on us a lot. The boss likes him though. I think that’s why he hasn’t been fired yet,” Lance laughed. “Oh, and the boss…” Lance’s voice trailed off.

“The… boss?” Keith prompted after thirty seconds of Lance staring off into space and drooling.

“Oh! Yeah, the boss… She’s like a princess or something, she’s really beautiful and good at everything… she has a really nice voice…”

“Lance,” Keith said after another thirty seconds had passed.

“Right! She’s really scary though,” Lance said, feeling his face heat up. “When she gets mad it’s like hell on earth… in McDonald’s…” He shook himself. “Pure terror.”

“Are you two… dating?” Keith mumbled softly, clenching his teeth after he realized that might have been too personal.

Lance jolted to look at him, shocked. “Oh my god, no no no, we aren’t…” He paused, swallowing. “I haven’t really… dated… since middle school. I, uh… it just never works out. The most romantic thing that’s ever happened to me was your weird kiss. That and when that girl in kindergarten gave me some smarties on Valentine’s Day.”

“Oh,” Keith said shakily. “And it- it wasn’t a kiss, Lance. If you really are that desperate for a kiss, please just download Tinder, and find some cute girl- or guy if you’re, uh, like… that!- to smooch. Just don’t call CPR a… kiss.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'll try to update soon, if you want to remind me, shoot me an email over at: saltedgraves@gmail.com  
> (or just to chat lmao)

**Author's Note:**

> well whoa gimme some feedback in the comments if you like, thanks for reading and stay tuned my dudes!
> 
> instagram- oceaneyedboy  
> email- saltedgraves@gmail.com


End file.
